Donald Trump doesn’t just cheat. He is cheating — in human form. A bloated, gold-plated monument to dishonesty. He cheats in business, in politics, in golf, in marriages, in taxes, in tanning, in waist size, in hairlines. If there’s a way to fake it, rig it, hide it, or lie about it, he’s already done it twice, called it “the most successful cheat ever,” and tried to sell it on QVC.
His “success” story? Written entirely in disappearing ink. His business career is basically a memorial wall for bankrupt casinos, unpaid contractors, stiffed employees, and shell companies designed to evaporate faster than his approval ratings. He cheats the IRS like it’s an annual family tradition. He cheats his waistline with industrial-strength shapewear engineered to hold together collapsing bridges, squeezing him into suits like overstuffed luggage. He cheats his bald spot with a comb-over so elaborate it could be classified as a public works project — a precarious, wind-sensitive architectural disaster that exists solely because God stopped performing miracles sometime around World War II.
And golf? Oh, sweetheart. The one sport built entirely on self-reporting, and Captain Integrity still can’t play it without turning the course into a crime scene. He kicks his ball out of the rough when he thinks no one’s looking, “forgets” penalty strokes like he “forgets” marriages, and claims birdies on holes he didn’t even finish. His caddies coined “a Trump par” — meaning “whatever number he shouts before flooring it to the next tee.” It’s the perfect metaphor for his life: lie about the score, ride away before anyone checks the math.
As for fidelity — he treats marriage vows like do-not-remove tags on mattresses: legally binding only if you get caught. Wives overlap with wives, mistresses overlap with mistresses, and in between there’s a porn star and a Playboy Playmate like tawdry halftime entertainment. Monogamy in Trump’s world isn’t a commitment — it’s a marketing gimmick.
When he slithered into politics, the personal grift metastasized into a national one. The man who bellows “rigged election” like a MAGA uncle accusing Olive Garden breadsticks of being part of a deep-state conspiracy threw everything he had at overturning a legitimate election he lost. He tried to swap out millions of votes for his own scribble. He turned a violent insurrection into a bedtime story about “peaceful tourism,” as if sightseeing tours routinely involve zip ties and smeared feces. He pardoned the same people who carried his flag into the Capitol — the ones who would have carried Mike Pence out in cuffs, or far worse, given the pop-up gallows they’d built with his name on it — and called them “patriots.”
Meanwhile, his party has gone full Bonnie and Clyde on democracy. The GOP has decided elections are fine… as long as they can rig them. In Texas, they’re carving up congressional maps so grotesquely warped they look like crime scene chalk outlines. Minority communities are being sliced, diced, and stitched into districts specifically designed to suffocate their votes. And Texas is just the trial run — they’re lining up every red state they control for the same back-alley “redistricting” surgery. This isn’t strategy; it’s premeditated election theft dressed in a Brooks Brothers suit.
And that’s just one layer of the scam. They’re also cheating the American people out of Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security. Out of affordable medicine. Out of clean air, clean water, and safe workplaces. They’re strip-mining the country for parts and selling it to the highest bidder, then telling the people they’ve robbed it’s all in the name of “freedom.”
Which is why my friends over at The Seneca Project just lit a political Molotov cocktail and threw it right into Trump’s safe space. Their ad, “Cheater,” is running this weekend on Fox & Friends and the Golf Channel — the two temples where he goes to feel adored — right in Bedminster, where he’ll be shoveling ice cream into his face between lies. Co-founder Michelle Kinney didn’t mince words:
“From Donald Trump’s business dealings, to his marriages, to the election lies he’s sold his base, our new ad ‘Cheater’ calls Trump out for being a cheater in every sense of the word. We take the fight to them. We fight fire with fire. And we never back down.”
Translation: We’re putting your rap sheet on the tv machine, Donnie, and we’re doing it during your tee time.
This is the playbook Democrats should be running every damn day. Because cheating isn’t a bug in Trumpism — it’s the entire operating system. From rigging maps to rewriting history, from suppressing votes to straight-up election denial, they’re designing a world where they can’t lose. And if they do lose, they’ll just declare it fake and try again.
The cruelest joke? The people they fleece hardest are the ones wearing their merch. For MAGA, being conned is the point. As long as “the right people” get hurt, they’ll watch their own pensions vanish, their healthcare disappear, and their kids’ lunch programs get axed — and call it winning.
Donald Trump cheats. Republicans cheat. And if they get the chance, they will cheat you out of everything you thought couldn’t be stolen — your vote, your money, your rights, your future — and then send you the bill for the theft.
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